For this lovely lady, true beauty is something you cannot see
By Monisha Pratap-Shah
Without any make up, constantly sniffling because of a bad cold and casually dressed for a power-yoga session later that evening, Sushmita Sen is zero percent glamorous and 100 percent gorgeous. She apologizes for being late, lights a cigarette and sinks into a sofa.
It’s hard not to fall under Sushmita’s spell. Apart from her fabled effervescence, unaffectedness, and warmth, there’s even a little self-mockery: She gleefully describes how she mispronounced the word “appreciate” in the Miss Universe final.
Sushmita’s latest film, Chingaari, in which she plays a prostitute, opened a couple of weeks ago. She recently talked to Reader’s Digest about the two most significant events in her life — winning the Miss Universe title, and becoming a single parent.
Reader’s Digest: You were on top of the world — sorry, universe! — at the age of 19. What was it like? Sushmita Sen: Actually I was 18 when I won on May 21st 1994. I had just turned 18 the previous November.
RD: What was it like to be catapulted into the limelight as a teenager and have your life transformed? SS: Firstly, I was shocked. People had to ask me to keep my mouth closed because my jaw dropped so much. I couldn’t believe people were actually addressing me as Miss Universe. The moment the 1993 Miss Universe, Dayanara Torres, put the crown on my head, this really big guy escorted her off the stage and the single spotlight shifted from her to me. I remember saying to myself, “See, it is very transient. The spotlight will shift again next year.”
But I think I was prepared for it — not to be Miss Universe — but at 14 or 15 I dreamt of being famous. It also made this 18-year-old kid believe that there is no limit to possibilities.
RD: The year that followed must have been extremely hectic? SS: Oh God, that year! I went to 33 countries. I was often a state guest. I would sign in books in which I would see the signatures of Rajiv Gandhi and Indira Gandhi. I was living a dream.
In my first appearance in Acapulco, Mexico, I was sitting at the head of a huge table with Barbara, my travel manager, and the tourism minister, the health minister and other big shots. I was starving and these people were just going on talking to each other. So I turned to Barbara and said, “Please can we just go to the loo and eat something? I can’t take this any more.” She smiled and said, “You’re the guest of honour. Till you touch fork to plate they can’t. I am sure they are very hungry too!”
When I came back from Mexico I said, “I don’t feel fit for this. Everything is so new to me.” So from then on, someone would prepare me in the cultural etiquette of wherever in the world I was sent to.
I wouldn’t be me without that one year.
RD: But were there times when it was frightening? SS: Actually, the frightening part was whether or not I would be able to live up to being a title holder. So many times I was afraid that they were going to pack me up and say, “Go back to India, you don’t know anything about being Miss Universe.” I have run temperature and been very, very sick and not complained because I didn’t know if that was the done thing or not.
RD: Are there disadvantages to being so beautiful? SS: Do good looks go against you in any way? It can attract the wrong men sometimes, but, beyond that, no. Anyway, beauty for me is not something you can see. It’s what you can’t see. Beauty is the fabulous looking cover that attracts your attention to a book. But it’s the material that holds your attention or you put the book down no matter how good the cover. I have always believed the book inside me is far more beautiful.
RD: You are not just good looking. You’re smart, you’re successful. Does that intimidate men? SS: It saves me. I have never really been a man’s woman. I am a woman’s woman. That does not mean I’m a feminist. More women have appreciated who I am with all my shortcomings and flaws and imperfections, God bless them. Women don’t hold my beauty against me. They realize that I am probably the truest representative of the fact that beauty is not skin deep.
RD: You had a long wait till you got your due in films. Was it frustrating doing just special appearances? SS: I chose to do them. I was getting films where all I had to do was stand behind the hero in the courtroom and sob my lungs out. That’s a waste of time. I don’t want to be standing doing nothing, be a character with no conflict.
I was not someone who grew up with a passion to be an actor. For me, dancing is a passion far bigger than acting. If I had the voice I would have been a rock star, singing and dancing on stage.
RD: What was the turning point in your career? SS: All my failures — my career is made of them. At first, taking failure didn’t come easily. And I didn’t take time out to understand why I failed. I changed when I befriended failure rather than running from it.
RD: Your lifestyle has always been very unconventional. Does this lead to problems? SS: But there is no other way to be! My life is unique to myself. There is no handbook for living; the only thing that you have got is your own sense of rhythm. But you have to live your life in a way that doesn’t damage anybody else.
It does get difficult sometimes. It takes a lot of explaining, a lot of patience. There are times when one wishes one didn’t have to explain. I didn’t feel like explaining to the Indian courts what I would be like as a mother.
RD: What prompted you to adopt a child and that too as a single parent? SS: I’d always wanted to be a mother and being a mother was more important to me than having a baby. I hadn’t found the right man, and I didn’t want to get married for the wrong reasons.
RD: Weren’t adoption agencies wary of giving a child to a celebrity like you? SS: They’d say, “You are a movie star. You don’t have time to raise children. You will have men coming in and out of your life.” Finally at 24, I found an organization that chose to help me.
RD: How did you choose your daughter? SS: I called out “Renée” to the babies they showed me and the one that reacted was her.
RD: Why Renée? SS: It comes from a French word that means to be born again. It is a beautiful concept. I always thought that when I have a daughter I’ll name her Renée.
RD: How did she respond? SS: She was fast asleep. The others were awake. One just yawned, another looked at me like “What are you calling me?” Renée was fast asleep and I didn’t know what to do, so I bent down and I went, “Renée.” And phatang! these huge big eyes just opened and she flashed me a big, huge smile. It was as if I chose her and she chose me right back.
RD: What kind of child had you wanted? SS: A baby between six to eight months old, healthy and happy, and female. Those were the only requirements. She didn’t have to look like me, she could be fairer, darker. . .
But they’d made a mistake when they brought this child out because she was not fit for adoption. Her head circumference was not that of a six-month-old baby because she’d been pumped with an immense amount of antibiotics. They’d predicted that within a year she would be mentally disabled. So they said, “We cannot give you this baby.”
I threw the biggest fit. I said, “I have just made a connection with this child. I can’t leave her here.” So I went to Nanavati Hospital, and took a few paediatricians back to the orphanage.
RD: What did the paediatricians say? SS: They said she’s not fit. So I went to a friend of mine who was also a paediatrician and said nobody will let me have this baby until I get a clear certificate saying there is hope. So he checked the baby and her reactions and said, “There’s always hope. But she needs to spend time with lots of intelligent people who constantly talk to her to keep her mind ticking.” The orphanage gave up and gave me the baby under foster care. Six months later the civil court called me.
RD: How did that go? SS: The court told me that I’d have to take six months off and bond with the child. I said, “Sorry. The reason you are giving me this baby is that I’m financially independent. And the reason I am is that I can’t take time off like that. But I will take as much time as I feel is necessary to be with her. I cannot mislead my child into believing ‘My mother is a sweetie-pie who never leaves home and my sight.’
So it went back and forth and the judge finally approved. He said, “At least one week, Miss Sen.” I said, “It’ll be longer than that.”
RD: How much time did you spend with Renée in the first six months? SS: I was shooting for Kyon kii Main Jhoot Nahin Bolta. My mother, my father, my friend Radu, my sister, the nurse, the daima — everyone was here. I used to work during the day and spend evenings and nights with her and go back to work in the morning. About three weeks later my mother, father, my friends, everybody left. I said, “No, no, mamma you can’t leave me now. How am I going to manage?” Mom said, “I didn’t ask you to be a mother, you figure it out.” And they left me in the lurch and thank God, for that. Like they say in Bengali, Ma ho-a ki mukher kotha? which makes the point that you don’t become a mother just by being called one.
I spent tons of time with her. She’s one very travel-happy child. She’s travelled all over the place to meet me. We did fine.
RD: Since she wasn’t a healthy child wasn’t it unfair of you not to spend all your time with her? SS: There were always people around to satisfy her psychological and educational needs. The standard rule was that when she woke up everybody would chat with her non-stop. She picked up languages because everybody was constantly talking to her. She speaks fluent Marathi because of the daima. She speaks fluent English because of all of us. She also speaks fluent Bengali and fluent Tamil.
RD: Since adopted children feel insecure, don’t you think initially she needed a bit more of you around? SS: Children only feel what you make them feel. As a mother you know when the child needs you. It is not the time you spend; it is the intensity with which you know your child. The more I would have tried to protect her, the more she would have got used to a very high level of security. I wanted to remain me: I am a workaholic. And I wanted her to enjoy me as I am. If I had biological children, it would be the same.
[At this point, Renée walks in, and Sushmita calls her over and says, “We are going to play opposites, Renée. What is the opposite of shy?”
Renée: Flamboyant.
Sushmita: What is biological?
Renée: Boring. Because everybody’s born from the stomach.
Sushmita: And what is the opposite of biological?
Renée: Adopted. And adopted is special — it’s born from the heart. I am adopted and I am special.]
SS: My mother is scared that when I have biological children, they will feel good for nothing because their elder sister will say, “Aah, you’re so boring!”
RD: The American actress Mia Farrow adopted ten children and had four of her own. Do you plan to adopt any more? SS: I would really love to. I think I am ready to let Renée share her space with another baby. I would love to have lots and lots of babies, biological or not, and hopefully all girls.
RD: Why? SS: I guess I just enjoyed being one myself so much.
